How Blue Are Your Blues?: Signs You Might Benefit from Professional Counseling

Written By Kristten Buttermore

Life is a complex journey, and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or down sometimes. However, when those challenges persist, they can overwhelmingly impact your overall well-being. In the counseling world we call this “interfering with daily living.” 

Seeking professional counseling is a proactive step toward mental wellness. It is an act of strength, not weakness. A licensed therapist can offer unbiased support, evidence-based tools, and a safe space to navigate life's inevitable challenges.

If you’re wondering whether counseling might be right for you, here are seven signs, often rooted in psychological and behavioral science, that indicate you could benefit from professional support.

1. Your Coping Mechanisms Are Maladaptive

While everyone develops strategies to handle stress, if you frequently rely on habits that ultimately cause harm or avoidance, your coping mechanisms are likely maladaptive. I use the term “maldaptive” to mean a mechanism that works in the short term, but is not an adaptive tool for long term emotional success. Some examples are: 

  • Substance Misuse: Increased reliance on alcohol, drugs, or even excessive internet use to experience "affective avoidance"—trying to escape or numb painful emotions (American Psychological Association).

  • Isolation: A severe and frequent pattern of social withdrawal, which can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and contribute to a downward mood spiral.

  • Disordered Eating: Significant changes in appetite (binge-eating or severe restriction) are often used as a way to gain a sense of control when life feels overwhelming.

A therapist helps you explore these habits and identify more adaptive ways to regulate emotions and process through difficult times. 

2. You Experience Persistent Emotional Dysregulation

If your moods feel unpredictable, intensely painful, or last significantly longer than the situation warrants, you may be experiencing emotional dysregulation. This is a core feature in many mental health challenges, including anxiety and mood disorders.

Look for:

  • Intense Irritability/Anger: Frequent outbursts or difficulty controlling frustration, often stemming from underlying stress.

  • Prolonged Low Mood: A state of persistent sadness or despair that lasts for weeks, not days.

  • Panic and Worry: Experiencing frequent or daily intrusive worrying, characteristic of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), where worry becomes chronic and uncontrollable.

Counseling can teach you all about your central nervous, your fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, and give you techniques to help regulate your nervous system and emotional responses.

3. There Are Significant Changes to Your Core Biological Functions

The state of your mental health has a direct, measurable impact on your biology. The most telling signs are shifts in the functions essential for survival: sleep and appetite.

  • Sleep Disturbances: Experiencing insomnia (difficulty falling or staying asleep) or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping). Sleep disruption is a primary diagnostic criterion for major depressive episodes.

  • Appetite Changes: Unexplained/unintentional loss of appetite and/or weight, or increased appetite and weight gain. 

When your body's regulatory systems are thrown off-balance, it's a clear signal that the psychological stress load is too high for your current resources to handle. 

4. You Suffer From Low Motivation and Lack of Enjoyment

Lack of enjoyment is a symptom that “pings” every therapist’s radar. When someone goes from enjoying something to having little or no pleasure or enjoyment in that activity, we raise our antennae. 

If you find yourself thinking, "I just don't care anymore," and you have no desire to engage with your favorite hobbies, work, or social life, you are experiencing a loss of internal motivation. This state warrants professional intervention to explore what’s going on. 

While some lack of motivation is normal, other times it interferes with daily life. I often hear the phrase “that’s a lot of work” with my clients. This tips me off to a lack of motivation. Especially when it is connected to tasks like showering, cooking dinner, or other important self care tasks. 

5. Your Thought Patterns Are Dominated by Negativity

If your inner dialogue is a constant stream of worry, self-criticism, or catastrophizing, we want to get you unstuck ASAP. Different therapists call these different things such as Cognitive Distortions, Thinking Errors, etc. These are irrational or extreme thought patterns that therapy is designed to address.

Examples include:

  • Catastrophizing (or as my Grandma used to say “making mountains out of molehills”): Always assuming the worst possible outcome. 

  • "Should" Statements: Rigidly adhering to internal rules ("I should be doing better," "I must be perfect").

  • Mind Reading: Assuming what other people think with zero evidence (“I can’t make friends at work because everyone thinks I’m stupid.”)

  • Mental FIltering: Only paying attention to the negative things. An example of this would be spending the day with a friend having lunch, going to a great movie, and ending the day with ice cream. But instead of focusing on the overall successful day, you only focus on the fact that your friend was late and you had to see a different movie.

A foundational goal of many therapies, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This therapy helps challenge these unhelpful patterns. . 

6. Relational Conflict Has Become Chronic

Mental health struggles often manifest in how we interact with others. If your relationships are characterized by repetitive, unresolved conflict, poor communication, or frequent withdrawal, it can signal an underlying need for emotional support.

Therapy can help you understand attachment styles, learn to set healthy boundaries, and improve interpersonal effectiveness, leading to less stressful and more fulfilling connections.

7. You Are Struggling to Process Trauma or Loss

Major life events such as bereavement, job loss, divorce, or experiences of past abuse—can overwhelm the brain's ability to process and integrate them normally.

If intrusive memories, flashbacks, or persistent feelings of danger are interfering with your daily life, you may be experiencing symptoms related to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or complex grief. Treatments like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Trauma-Focused CBT are scientifically validated methods to help the brain safely process these experiences.

 

The Power of Intervention

If you recognize one or more of these markers, it is a powerful signal that your mind is asking for specialized support.

Remember, you don't have to wait for a full-blown crisis. Professional counseling is a preventative and restorative tool designed to help you build resilience, gain self-awareness, and develop the sustainable coping skills necessary for a healthier, more regulated life.

 


Tags:

Therapy

Depression

Anxiety

PTSD

 EMDR

CBT

 


Kristten Buttermore